His Butler Spying
by CSMichaelis
Summary: Set during His Butler broken. Sebastian has had enough of Watching Ciel from the window and follows him to a popular destination for demons and learns that his master has changed. No flames probably a one shot
1. Chapter 1

"Look at them Cynna, they swarm around him, asking him to dance, to share a drink,drawn to my young Master as if he is a -"

"Do I detect a hint of jealousy Master?" Cynna replied sipping from his glass as he and Sebastian sat on a darkened corner of the Hellfire pub.

"I don't get jealous Cynna, my young master is very young and currently he's surrounded by drunk demons who wish to take him from me."

"Did you just hear your own words sir, you said they wish to"Take him from me' does it not matter that not only are Fen and Deimos with his but he has refused each one of their requests, I told you that it would be best if you stayed at your window and watched him as you normally do, especially with you feeling so ill lately." Sebastian wasn't listening anymore his eyes were narrowed at the large horned demon speaking to Ciel. The former Earl seemed less than interested Fen sent the beast away. He was soon replaced by another, younger demon of about Ciel's age.

Sebastian stood up without a word,he walked in the shadows silently until he was close enough to Ciel's table to hear the conversation and have them in clear view. Ciel seemed quite different,he wore a red jacket and a black tie,Sebastian couldn't help but think the color didn't suit his master at all.

"You're a pretty one aren't you, I didn't catch your name" The young demon asked sitting down next to Ciel.

"probably because I didn't give it." The former Earl replied"You can leave now,you weren't invited to sit down."

"And?"

"It's rude, not to mention the fact that I have no idea who the hell you are and I'm not at all interested in finding out." Ciel snapped. Sebastian smiled 'How I miss you my lord.' He thought to himself.

"That's not very nice,when a demon expresses interest, in another it's only polite to respond -"Ciel turned to face him.

"I'm not polite,nor am I interest,this is the last time I'm going to tell you to leave." The demon grinned and moved an inch closer.

"I think you should get to know me better,there's something special about you that I just can't put my finger on,something...extraordinary. Why you and I might like each other and become mates one day,tell me,how do you feel about children?" Sebastian clenched his fists in anger as the rage filled him,the pain didn't matter at that moment but before he could react,Cynna wrapped his arms around him.

"Master, I know you're upset however, Master Ciel is-Master, your hand,it's bleeding." Sebastian looked down to see the streaks of blood where his claws had cut into his hand.

"So it is, no matter. I see the young master has become quite capable of caring for himself." Sebastian watched the demon stand up and leave. Ciel's table.

"The young Master would never be mates with his kind, he deserves much more than the rubbish that frequents this place."

"True, Master Ciel would do best with a demon of a higher class, someone who knows how to love him, knows his flaws, and will stay by his side for eternity,a demon that's good enough to respect his wishes and -" Sebastian glanced at him.

"Cynna, if you're going to throw hints at me, you should try being a bit more subtle."

Sebastian pressed a hand to his stomach as it began to ache badly.

"Master, are you alright?" Cynna asked in alarm.

"I will be. I think perhaps it is time to go home. I need to rest." Cynna nodded. The former butler took one last look at Ciel and with a sigh, he allowed himself to be taken home, he hoped Ciel hadn't noticed.


	2. Chapter 2

"Just listen to how it sounds Sir, Ciel Michaelis, does it not sound absolutely perfect?"Cynna walked beside Sebastian,several feet ahead of them, Ciel walked alone,this time dressed in all black, his head bowed in sadness.

"Actually it does have a wonderful sound to it, but that's not our mission here today, please stay on track." Cynna chuckled warmly.

"Have you ever thought about the possibility Master, how happy you two can be, perhaps there would be demonlings in your future, you can feel better and-" Sebastian sighed.

"I have, When my young master was human, I just knew there was something, I hadn't given much thought to demonlings but countless times I did want to ask him to be mine. I had it planned to a degree but never had the courage. That and he was already engaged. "Sebastian explained keeping his eyes on Ciel.

"It wasn't his choice though. I'm certain he loved the girl, however I can't believe he was in love with her."

"He wasn't. She was his cousin and I was an arranged marriage from my understanding."

"I see,so honestly,you could very well have asked him and taken him away, if he didn't want to marry, then you would have spared him that fate."

"It wasn't that simple Cynna, please focus on the task at hand."

"Of course air, but it seems to me that if you just go over there to the young Master and ask him, it would be better for both of you." Sebastian stopped and turned to him.

"So you believe that I should walk right over to him, simply say "Ciel, I love you more than you could ever imagine, will you be my mate?' And all will be well?"

"I see no reason for him to refuse a proposal. You clearly love him and he isn't interested in anyone else..."

"Why would he want something like me?"

"Why not, you love him, you're protective, your strong, the king's son, as far as demons go, you're a handsome little devil-" Cynna laughed lightly at the last part of the statement, Sebastian rolled his eyes.

"Really Cynna, you had to go there?"

"I do apologize Sir, however, the truth remains, there seems to be no reason at all to refuse you."

"There are many reasons why he would reject my offer."

"Name one." Cynna challenged.

"I shall name several. First, I abandoned him in France, he had no money, no way home. Second, I let him die, third, I allowed him to be taken by Claude, fourth, I failed to -"

"No one is perfect Master,so you made a few errors, Master Ciel wouldn't hold a grudge against you for such things, in fact he released you from your contract so that you might find food. He can't possibly be angry with you if he cares that much.

"I don't think so Cynna, I've done far too much to Ciel."

"Yet here you are following him when your illness allows for it. Speaking of, how are you feeling sir?"

"I'm fine Cynna, but again,we must focus on the task at hand,Ciel is walking alone tonight and from the expression on his face something is wrong."

"Perhaps he misses you just as you miss him. If you just go to him, you can sort this out and you'll know for certain what his feelings are. Eventually you'll either have to find a contract or ask Master Ciel to be your mate. The choice is yours of course but you have limited time to act." Cynna tried to reason with Sebastian but had no luck.

"I must be sure Cynna, if I go to him, that he will-"

"There sir, Master Ciel is in view once more. He appears to be going into that shop." Cynna pointed to the small building and the two hurried to the window. Ciel stood in the middle of the store, beside him, a demon only slightly taller spoke to him. As they watched, Ciel's mood seemed to brighten during the conversation.

"Cynna, go inside and listen to what's being said, don't let Ciel see you."Sebastian ordered slipping into the alley beside the store. Cynna nodded and left him. He was careful to keep his back to Ciel as he pretended to look at some jars.

"Later today would be good, I can meet you here and we'll see what happens." The demon said.

"That's fine, it's not like I have anywhere else to be."

"Excellent,please give some thought to my request Ciel."

"Of course, it's the least I can do under the circumstances ." The demon smiled.

"Until tonight then Ciel." He bowed his head politely.

"That's right, I'll be here Zander."Ciel confirmed, Zander handed him a wrapped package and the former Earl left. He stopped briefly in front of the alley at the sound of Sebastian moaning slightly in pain. He turned toward the sound but the former butler was able to step into the shadows and avoid being seen.

"My dear young Master, whatever are you up to,why have you not brought your guard and why are you so unhappy. I have so many questions I scarcely know where to begin. Even if I did, the chances of you telling me are not in my favor." Cynna. Emerged minutes later and explained what he had heard.

"So then he's meeting this zander tonight, I sincerely hope that this isn't what it sounds like. My Lord simply cannot do this to me. His heart can't belong to another. Cynna tell me it's not true."

"You're jumping to conclusions, I'm sure there's an explanation. Right now I think it's best to get you back in should be resting and thinking about where to get your food from. He too will have to eat soon perhaps a meeting will be beneficial to you both." After a long hesitation, Sebastian replied.

"I'll consider it." He said,Cynna wasn't convinced,he knew his master better than that, the day would not come and he would have to prepare himself for the worst.


	3. Chapter 3

Sebastian paced in the alley growling softly as he and Cynna waited for Ciel to arrive.

"Master, please calm yourself, being upset will only be harmful to your health. I must insist as your butler,friend and caregiver that you-"

"It's not easy for me to calm down in this situation, I could very well lose my young master." Cynna sighed.

"You can make this situation easier for you both, go to him and tell him the truth, bring him home Master,and once he's there never let him go again. From what I know of the young master, I believe that if you give him the love in your heart,he will be yours. However, he can never be yours if you don't talk to him about your feelings, lurking in the shadows has never led to a bonding ceremony Sir." Cynna said sternly.

"If my Ciel knew I wasn't-"

"There you did it again. " the butler pointed out.

"I did what?"Sebastian stopped pacing and turned to his butler.

"You said 'my Ciel.' You're claiming him to be yours but you refuse to go get him."

"He must be allowed to have his own life Cynna, this is-"

"I quite agree Sir, his own life, in his own home which he shares with you."

"Perhaps it isn't meant to be." Sebastian said sorrowfully.

"Master, once again, I'm absolutely convinced that Master Ciel loves you, much more than you know. He's giving you the opportunity to eat, which by the way you have completely ignored and I must tell you that it does make you seem ungrateful Sir."

"Ungrateful, how dare you speak to me that way, not a day goes by that my heart doesn't hurt, that it doesn't cry out for him and you accuse me of -"

"He wants you to be well, he was strong enough to let you go so that you can survive. You're not even concerned about his feeling, if your heart hurts you just to be away from him, how will his react when you are dead because you refused to try to feed yourself and for that matter,how much worse will it be on him when he learn that he might have been able to provide food for you if only you had come to him. You wouldn't be there to look after him and he would be plunged into an eternity of despair, tell me, is this what you want?"Cynna hissed angrily, Sebastian bowed his head.

"You haven't been this stern with me since I was a child ."

"Perhaps I should be more often, if you don't want me to be stern with you, I suggest that you not put me in this position again."

"Ciel doesn't need me anymore,he's meeting that Zander and then he'll forever be out of my reach. If this is the life Ciel has chosen,Zander and I shall have to have a talk."

"Master,I'm surprised at you. Never have you given up so easily." Cynna's voice was almost sympathetic now.

"I only want Ciel to be happy and cared for Cynna, it hurts me to see this sorrow in him. If I knew that he would honestly be alright,if he-" Sebastian felt a wave of dizziness hit him and Cynna was quick to steady him.

"Sit down Master, in a few minutes,I'll take you home and -"

"No. I must find out what they're doing,I need to know my Ciel is safe." Cynna helped Sebastian sit down and sighed.

"Promise me that you will sit here until I return." Cynna requested.

"Where do you plan to go?"

"I will get the information for you,that way you can rest here." Before Sebastian could reply,Ciel came into view, the former Earl seemed to have been crying this time. Sebastian wanted to go to him,hold him close and tell him everything would be fine. That he was loved and wanted. Sebastian always hated to see Ciel upset.

"Master, please sit down,you aren't well." Cynna whispered. Sebastian realized only then that he was now standing and had taken a few steps toward Ciel.

"I can put you by the window,though it doesn't open, you can see him, is that something you would like?" Sebastian nodded and Cynna sat him down on a small stack of crates.

He watched Zander move to the door to let Ciel in,he nodded permission to Cynna to leave him and soon both Cynna and Ciel were inside and zander drew the curtain on the door. Sebastian saw Ciel and Zander sit down at a table in the middle of the room,it had been placed there for just this occasion,Sebastian was sure of it.

"Please young Master,no more tears,you have been hurt far too much,you mustn't allow this world to get to you as well." Sebastian said as he settled in to watch what would happen.


	4. Chapter 4

"Come Ciel, tell me what has been so upsetting to you lately, I am always here for you." Zander said gently pulling Ciel into a hug. Cynna turned his attention to the window and could see his master's eyes glowing dangerously.

"Please Master, be still.' He pleaded silently.

"Everything,my memories,my life,the emptiness I feel inside." The young demon answered.

"I see,it's all catching up to you,that alone is enough to break someone,not matter how strong Ciel,you can't always make it on your own. Especially when your life is so full of pain. When memories as tortuous as yours flood the mind and all you have is an empty home,there's little to comfort you. I'm sorry. You were able to turn off your sadness as a human because you had others around you,you could pretend to feel different and you did so to protect them as well. There's no shame in your tears." Zander released Ciel and offered him a piece of his favorite chocolate.

"I had them brought here just for you,so that perhaps it would be some small comfort. I know how painful this transition can be. I too had a demon contract."Ciel looked at him in surprise.

"How did you end up here then,shouldn't your demon have taken your soul?" Zander smiled sadly.

"She should have,but inside,she and I fell in love, I called her Eleanor,but her given name was Marina,I had asked her to help me seek revenge for my brother's death. She of course did as she was asked and when the time came,she outright refused to take my soul because she loved me so."

"What happened?" Ciel asked rubbing away his tears.

"Nothing lasts forever in the human world Ciel, I became gravely ill about two years later and she was devastated beyond words,I told her how much I loved her believing that they were my last words,it was very important to you that she know. The next thing I knew,I wasn't feeling ill and my strength had returned, she told me that she couldn't bear the thought of losing me and she could only save me by changing me."

"She really must have loved you." Ciel said sadly.

"that's true,she and I loved each other more than anything. We got married and for many years,she and I had a happy life here. Then just when I thought I couldn't ever want more,she told me she was pregnant We were both overjoyed but there were complications with the pregnancy and she was in bed all the time,I did my best to care for her each day,but she only grew weaker. She and our child died during the birth."

"I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what that's like."Ciel bowed his head.

"I've lost family,but never a child." He added.

"I sincerely hope that you never know this pain Ciel. To lose the one you love and your child,words can't describe how much it hurts."

"I feel sort of silly now,I've been coming to you with my problems and you're going through your own."

"Perhaps this is her way somehow,bringing us together this way, we understand true pain and with no one else to talk to,I don't know if we can make it. My door is always open to you,is there something specific that you need help with tonight or would you like to talk about just anything?"

"I don't know, I just feel lost I suppose."

"You miss your butler friend. I'm sorry it had to turn out like that, I'm sure he would've been a help to you and if you want my opinion, he's not right in the head for letting you go like that."

"What do mean?"

"Ciel, my friend, it's so obvious to me that you care very much for him."

"It was my choice actually, I left so he could have food. I had nothing to give and I knew he was hungry, starving himself and I don't want that," Zander smiled.

"You love him don't you?" Ciel didn't answer immediately.

"Yes." He said after hesitating.

"Ciel, honestly,I don't know how you get through all this, you've got to-" Zander stopped suddenly at the sound of the front door opening.

"What's going on?" Ciel asked worriedly.

"I don't know, I think someone else is here. I'm sorry Ciel, but we'll have to visit again soon, can I walk you home?" Ciel shook his head. His heart hurt and he knew Zander only cut the meeting short for his safety.

"Thank you Zander." Ciel said starting to walk over to him.

"Ciel, why don't you take the chocolate with you, and it's still early, maybe you can get together with your friends and you won't have to feel so sad,come to me tomorrow night,I just want to make sure if there's someone here,you're alright,you know that don't you?"

"I know." Ciel grabbed the box, thanked Zander once more and exited.

Cynna made his way quietly to Sebastian who sat quietly, he could see claw marks on several of the crates.

"master, it's not what you -"

"He was touching my young master." Sebastian hissed angrily.

"Sir, please, allow me to explain the situation to you, they're not romantically involved, Ciel comes here because -"

"He held him, My Ciel was in his arms." Sebastian's eyes were glowing again.

"Master, please, Zander is a comfort to him,he gives Master Ciel a place to go where he doesn't have to hold everything inside. They're friends and I -"

"Then perhaps I should be friends with Zander, I could simply go in and give his neck a hug,after that I'll introduce him to my dear friend, the brick wall." Cynna sighed.

"Ciel would never so much as look at you again for those actions. You said you wanted him to be happy, he's living with so much pain Sir, you could never hope to understand."

"Then he can come to me,he knows where I can be found. I will be more than happy to-"

"Why are you even here?" Ciel said angrily, catching his former butler off guard.

"Young Master, I simply wanted to be sure you were-"

"On second thought,I don't care, You should be making a contract shouldn't you, isn't that why I let you go?"

"Yes, but-"

"Shut up. Cynna, you couldn't talk any sense into your master?"

"Believe me Master Ciel,I have tried countless times."

"So you just had to come in and ruin this for me, the only real friend I have in this place and you send Cynna in there to take that away as well." Sebastian could see the tears still in the boy's eyes. He wanted to apologize and make him understand,but a different emotion took hold of him as he stood up.

"And stop calling me Master!" Ciel added as he got closer. Sebastian stood in front of Ciel.

"What do you think you're doing out here without the guard I gave you, anything could have happened to you, have you forgotten where you are?" The words came out more viciously than he realized.

"I'm not your responsibility Sebastian, this is your fault too." Ciel shot back.

"What are talking about, I never -"

"I let you into my life, that's my fault, but you refused to leave. I let you go and this is what you do, instead of getting another contract,you waste time trying to make sure you still know exactly what I'm doing every bloody second of every damn day. Stop it, I don't want you following me around and I don't need you anymore!" The anger had left Sebastian and he felt as though Ciel had just stabbed him in the heart with countless daggers.

"And if something happens to Zander because of your little fit you had out here, You're going to have an even bigger problem..with me. Leave him alone and that's right I know you were over here, if you're going to spy on someone, red glowing eyes at the window isn't very effective." Without another word,Ciel left. He couldn't tell Sebastian the truth,he would never be able to if Sebastian was going to survive. This only added to his pain as he rushed off to his empty, darkened home.


	5. Chapter 5

Cynna walked through the darkened streets of London,Sebastian stayed several steps behind him,his hunger was causing more problems lately and although he had stopped following Ciel briefly he found that doing so was the only thing that eased his mind.

The demon had been curious about what could make Ciel return to this place. The three had been walking for hours,and Sebastian was somewhat troubled by the absence of the guard once again. He would have no choice but to speak to them about it.

He watched Ciel stop at a familiar place and heard an equally familiar voice speaking to him.

"Good evening young Earl, Come to visit your family?" Undertaker asked.

"Yes, I know it's late but it's the best time for me to come,given my current state and all."Ciel replied.

"Yes,I understand. You're of course welcome here anytime at all." He stepped aside to allow Ciel instead the graveyard. Sebastian and Cynna waited several minutes before approaching.

"If I didn't know any better butler,I'd say you didn't want your dear master to see you here. " undertaker chuckled softly.

"That's exactly the case,however he is no longer my master,for him to see me now would make him very angry. I have already been down that road. I simply wish to know that he's safe. I understand that this is your property and I ask that you kindly let me in and say not a word of it to Ciel." The undertaker seemed to think it over.

"If you get yourselves caught, it's on you. I want no trouble with the young earl." He said stepping aside and letting them in. Sebastian knew exactly where to find Ciel. He and Cynna moved silently through the somber scene. The stars and the moon light provided the only illumination,combined with the fog it created a landscape that could be found in only the darkest of nightmares.

Cynna bowed his head and sighed heavily.

"What is it Cynna, it's not like you to fret so." Sebastian whispered.

"To think that Master Ciel is wandering around this place all alone,the fact that he must in order to visit with a family that he shall never again see, that will never again embrace him." Sebastian too began to feel sorrow. When they finally found Ciel kneeling in front of three headstones. Sebastian listened to the young demon speak softly.

"I know I haven't been here to visit you, my life was so- I can't really describe it. I'm going to guess that you saw at least some of what I went through. I never actually thought about coming here,talking to stone, but a friend of mine said it would help me with closure. Maybe it wouldn't hurt so much if I came he said. Though I don't know if I deserve it, The sadness I feel constantly now, maybe that's my punishment,my hell." Ciel paused to wipe away a tear.

"I just need the three of you to know that I'm sorry. Madam Red, you're right. I shouldn't have been born, I ruined your life as well as my parents. So many people would still be alive if not for me. Madam Red, I don't blame you at all for what you did that night. I wish you would have killed me honestly. But I still love you just as much as I ever have. I hope wherever you are, you were able to find peace and you finally get to see your child. " He turned to his parents.

"I owe you two the biggest apology. You raised me to be so different from what I am now. I'm not the same boy you read stories to, or held in your arms. Not a day goes by that I don't regret that you're gone. I have to think, if you were here right now, would you tell me I'm wrong, that I'm a disappointment to you. Would you help me understand, you surely can't be proud of me. There's nothing I wouldn't do to get you back. I-I love you all so much." After several more moments of tears, Ciel stood and once again began walking, this time to yet another grave.

"Please Master, don't do that, the fault was mine,not yours. Please stop torturing yourself for something I did." Sebastian whispered following Ciel..

"Master, I don't understand what is going on,are -"

"Come Cynna my will understand shortly." They stopped and watched him kneel again, this time the tears couldn't be held back.

"Words aren't enough to let you know how deeply sorry I am for what happened to you. It was my fault. You'll never hold your child, see his or her firsts, because of me. I know you didn't blame me but you didn't know everything. I'm not proud of myself and your death still haunts me. There so many days that I couldn't even look at Sebastian. I hated him,and myself. I can't ask you to forgive me and I won't. I just hope you know that I never meant for it to happen. I did ask you to stay away. I'm not at all blaming you, I know it was my fault." Sebastian sank to his knees slowly, he could feel the tremendous pain that was in Ciel's heart. Without giving it a second thought, Sebastian called out to his former master.

"You're not to blame for Aberline's death. I chose to let it happen,I could have easily stopped it, blame me,not yourself,please." He pleaded Ciel looked up at his words.

"You did it again, damn you!" He cried as tears fell.

"Yes, old habits can be hard to break. If it makes you feel better my lord, I shan't be able to much longer."

"I can't believe after all that you still need to -" before Ciel could finish Sebastian was beside him and pulling him into a hug. He was surprised however when Ciel collapsed sobbing in his arms.

"It will be alright, I am here now. I know you are less than happy with me but to see you hurt this badly- please just this time, allow me to comfort you, not as a butler but as someone who wants the best for you." Ciel didn't fight his anger at the older demon had disappeared leaving him with only sorrow.

"Just once Sebastian, once only." He sobbed burying his face in Sebastian's shirt,clutching his jacket. They would stay that way until the sun began to rise the next morning when Sebastian would carry the young demon back to his home and spend the day comforting him as best he could.


End file.
